You probably know the feeling of having a best friend who suddenly got a new boyfriend or girlfriend, they suddenly forget that you exist. You may even want to plot how they will break up or bet on how long the relationship lasts. Don’t feel guilty, because not many things are harder than giving up your person to someone else. Everytime you want to plan something with them, the are with their significant other, but it seems they are ALWAYS with that person, always talking about them, and they can’t two hours without referencing them! You probably relate to these feelings and understand what I’m talking about, but the odds are we’re all guilty of this. Whether you have done it to someone else or it’s happened to you, you understand. It’s one of the worst feelings, losing someone is awful. They were a part of you and now it’s no longer there, but I have some good news. Although you feel like it’s the end of world, these friends who may leave you for a boyfriend aren’t aware of what you may feel is the end of your world. They don’t see that you miss them, they don’t know what you’re feeling and they can’t read your mind. So although it’s like you dropped off the side of the earth, there is more than one thing you can do to help yourself and your friendship. You can start with talking to the friend who seems to forget that you exist. If you pick a time where you can talk, a place where it’s not too busy so a car, house or a cafe then bring it up and state how you feel. If your friend becomes defensive, and argues that what you are feeling isn’t real. You may have to bring it up more than once, because they don’t want to admit that they’ve been leaving you behind. If bringing up multiple times doesn’t work, then you can try to talk to your other friends to see if they feel the same way. Then talking in a group, about what you all may feel may solve your problem. But if it doesn’t then you can try to set up plans with the friend, stating how important so called plan would be to you. If that doesn’t end up working out, then continue to ask for time with the friend and the last resort is to become friends with the significant other and start to do things with the couple. There is nothing wrong with third wheeling, if it means that you get to spend time with someone who means a lot to you. In the end, it’s all about communication and compromise.
Story by Devon Williams